I’ve been quiet lately and dealing with bronchitis and now my face is round like the moon, thanks to steroids. I’ve also been in quiet reflection and prayer for someone in my past who has caused me much pain.
About 14 years ago this week I was preparing for the birth of my son while planning a wedding. From the overpriced ceremony/reception venue to trying to keep the list of invitees under 200, looking at invitations, in talks with the seamstress who would be sewing my original gown to the limousine, Pastor and so much more.
Fast forward to July of 2004 I was so engulfed with the baby and wedding that I didn’t notice my mate had changed. It didn’t take long for me to figure out what was up and he made it so that he had many believing some lies he was telling. Well, he found what he was looking for and although our wedding date was to be August 21 he married his “new grass” the beginning of September. Folks, I can’t make this stuff up…anyway, you would figure I hated him but NO we had a son together so I have been his (virtual) shoulder to cry on the past 14 years and especially recently because he is going through hell.
I’m saying all this to say, people make mistakes and some of those changes set off domino effects we can’t foresee happening so it’s best you tend to your own “lawn” before giving it up for one you didn’t lay down. Can you be friends with someone who has committed the ultimate betrayal….yes, you can. Can you still offer your love and advice without losing who you are …yes, you can.
Sometimes life has a way of teaching us hard lessons and as he calls for reassurance, advice, a shoulder, a friend, I could easily repeat the lies he told everyone, but why, he has already been handed a bad hand so I won’t kick or keep him down. I am grateful for the past almost three months because me advising him has been my true measure of growth.
Forever comes in different forms, forgive and embrace change.