There are many in my life who can’t accept who I am and what I’m currently going through. I’ve bottled my past up so tight that it was likened to a volcano erupting when I finally started opening up. I didn’t ask to be this way but I also can’t control how I feel and especially being hurt by the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally.
I have great days and I have dark days. Any type of hurt can spiral a good day into a bad one. I have gone through days of crying, not eating or eating way too much and even went through a whole day without showering as I didn’t leave my dark bedroom, not even for a bottle of water. You see, people don’t really realize how detrimental words can be and also actions. When you are already living in a world of Bipolar feelings along with depression and anxiety, someone unintentionally hurting your feelings is easy.
I am extremely raw with the truth and only because if it can help someone come out of their “mental closet” then good! More people who are suffering need to speak out as there are those who don’t believe these issues are serious until it’s too late. Don’t be the family member who says “had I known” because by then the person is dead. It is imperative that these conversations are happening because suicide rates are multiplying and many of those deaths are affecting kids under 18 from bullying to fat shaming and so many other social issues. These bullies are crying for help when they are attacking their prey’s and we need to ensure their problems are solved so no deaths happen as a result of their actions.
I am Bipolar Damn it and words, feelings or lack thereof, they hurt me. Damn it, I’m Bipolar, can’t you see?